


Witty Rapport

by inhystereks



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, ESSS2017, Eternalsterek Secret Santa 2017, Humor, M/M, TA! Erica, Their whole class ships it tbh, arguing as foreplay, erica ships it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-24 04:17:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13205784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inhystereks/pseuds/inhystereks
Summary: Erica kind of knew what to expect since it wasn't her first time being a TA, but even her experience wouldn't have prepared her for them. Derek Hale and Stiles Stilinski were absolutely goddamn ridiculous.-OR-Derek and Stiles don't think their witty rapport counts as flirting. (Newsflash: It does.)





	Witty Rapport

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Salios](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Salios/gifts).



Erica kind of knew what to expect since it wasn’t her first time being a TA. She was prepared for students bullshitting their work. She was prepared for the professor to dump all the grading on her and the teaching, also, when he didn’t feel like it. She was prepared for the class discussions to go on for too long or be incredibly awkward or stilted because of some of the texts they were reading. She was prepared for some students to be over eager and some students to very clearly put in no effort whatsoever.

Erica was prepared for all of that.

She was not, however, prepared for what could only be described as belligerent unresolved sexual tension.

Derek Hale and Stiles Stilinski were _absolutely goddamn ridiculous_.

It started the very first class after syllabus day. Professor Deucalion had decided that he wanted to try a more informal teaching style in a bid to get more favorable student reviews. He told the class he wanted them to be ready to discuss _Romeo and Juliet_. If they’d read it already, fine. If not, it was fine to just look on SparkNotes or some similar site to get enough of an idea of the story. The first discussion was just a way to see what things popped out at them and their comfort in arguing a particular point and supporting it with evidence from the text.

Erica had noticed Stiles dramatically rolling his eyes at the choice of text and immediately pegged him as one of the types with loud opinions and a big mouth. So when Deucalion asked about the nature of Romeo and Juliet’s relationship the next class, and everyone was looking around wondering who would speak first, she wasn’t that surprised when Stiles raised his hand.

“I think their relationship is purely sexual,” he said.

Several eyebrows went up, but Derek Hale was the only one that looked personally offended. Deucalion gestured to him. He cleared his throat and said shyly, “I disagree. Their relationship was a bit rushed, but I feel like they truly loved each other.”

He glanced over at Stiles who was looking back at him incredulously. “What? Romeo was ‘in love’ with someone else at the beginning of the play and love at first sight is bullshit. Love is a complicated and intense emotion. It’s not something that happens instantly. That’s what lust is.”

Derek’s eyes narrowed and a good bit of his shyness left him. “So you think they were willing to abandon all they knew, for each other, because they wanted to have sex? Are you forgetting that they made the plan after they’d already gotten married and had sex?”

“I’m not _forgetting_ anything,” Stiles replied, “But as you said, their relationship was rushed, no time to fall out of a honeymoon period created from having sex for the first time, in Juliet’s case, if not Romeo’s.”

“If it was really just lust, why did they get married before they had sex? They made a commitment to spend the rest of their lives together despite the fact that their families wouldn’t approve.”

“Because one of the subplots is Juliet’s pending marriage to Paris, whom she does not want to marry. If she has to marry someone, wouldn’t making a choice of her own be significantly more appealing?”

“And why would Romeo be her choice? He’s not just anyone. He’s a member of the family hers hates the most. It’s not just a marriage of convenience when they both know their family members have killed each other. And she still chooses to be with him even after Tybalt. Is that lust too?”

“You’ve both brought up some really good points,” Deucalion interrupted.

Erica watched them both jerk as they realized they were on the edges of their seats, glaring at each other.

“Does anyone else have similar opinions to Derek and Stiles? Or another opinion entirely?”

The discussion continued with other students stating their own ideas about the play, but Derek and Stiles continued to glance at each other for the rest of the class.

And it was like that every time after. 

Every single book, every single reading, Derek and Stiles would argue with each other like it was a fight to the death. One time, Deucalion just let them keep going and they didn’t even notice when class was over and people started to leave. And what made it even more idiotic was that all the arguing didn’t hide in the slightest that they were stupidly into each other.

They wouldn’t have been able to fool a blind child, let alone a class full of college students with fully functioning eyes. Not with the way Derek’s eyes lingered on Stiles’ wild gestures and he always lost his train of thought for a second every time Stiles put his pen in his mouth. Not with the way Stiles’ lips would part whenever Derek adjusted his glasses and he had to look away every time Derek’s biceps bulged when he crossed his arms in offense at some comment Stiles had made.

Erica wanted to throttle them both. It was kind of hilarious how oblivious they both were, but also super fucking annoying because all that sexual tension would go away if they would just get over whatever hangups they apparently had and just had sex already. Because, honestly, it just led to Erica drifting off into daydreams about a portable dehumidifier that could clear up sex fog. She was actually pretty sure all their erotic energy was making the other students horny. No doubt she’d seen the blond that usually sat in the third row jump her freckled boyfriend as soon as she saw him waiting outside the door for her one day.

And then it got even worse because they banded together to fight someone else.

“We can’t really say that the book has a racist viewpoint,” Theo said. “It’s more about colonialism and how both the colonizers and those colonized are affected.”

Derek and Stiles shared a look and for a moment, Erica honestly thought they would just ignore him and start their own more intelligent argument between themselves. But apparently they were just silently agreeing to put aside their own rivalry in order to take down a bigger idiot.

“So you’re just going to ignore how Kurtz was literally described as a symbol for Europe, and how when he wrote a report about natives he explicitly said to exterminate all the brutes like the natives were some kind of infestation and not actual people living on their own land that they’d been living on for centuries?” Stiles asked coldly.

“And you’re not going to acknowledge that Conrad basically illustrates Africa as some kind of black hole that sucks in all remnants of civilization and destroys it, which leads to an automatic othering and fear of Africans?” Derek questioned furiously.

“What about the fact that he dehumanizes Africans by describing them mostly by the color of their skin, naming them cannibals and savages…” Stiles said.

“Not to mention the way any African that seems to have even a hint of intelligence or emotion ends up dead,” Derek added.

“Also, the way Kurtz Stockholmed the natives in the village he decided to settle in, abusing them until they went along with everything he said while he was still taking their resources,” Stiles bit out.

“Plus, the blatant way the African queen was interpreted as being the catalyst for his descent into madness, luring him with her savagery and sexuality, rather than the fact that his greed caused him to become increasingly more violent and irrational,” Derek hissed. 

They went on like that, bouncing off each other, bringing up point after point, adding on to each other until they’d built a wall of irrefutable evidence. 

Theo was clearly a douchebro of the highest order, and Erica would freely admit that his opinions on _Heart of Darkness_ were wrong. All of them. Every single one was wrong. He was a smarmy asshole and he deserved to be put in his place.

But the event had evolved Derek and Stiles’ relationship from some “lowkey flirting while bickering” butllshit to some “so-in-love married couple” bullshit.

They fucking finished each other sentences now and had silent conversations about how to further their argument and basically became an unstoppable force of nature and they _still_ hadn’t boned. 

Erica had actually seen Stiles notice Derek in the dining hall, blush bright red, trip over his own feet and nearly spill all his food, before turning tail and straight up running away.

What. The. Fuck.

They were two intelligent dudes who were pretty fearless about stating their opinions. How had neither of them made a move yet?

If anything positive came from it, it was that it banded the rest of the class together. They all smirked and rolled their eyes at each other when Derek and Stiles got going. Erica was pretty sure there was a betting pool about which one of them would finally beat the dynamic duo in a class discussion. She was also pretty sure there was a pool going about when Stiles and Derek would finally have sex. (Maybe she was the one who had started that pool. Maybe not.)

They were halfway through the semester and Erica was starting to believe the two idiots would never get their shit together.

And they didn’t. Because they were stupid as fuck. She had to do all the work.

It wasn’t news that Stiles was a human disaster and could trip over air. It was even worse when he was in a hurry. He rushed into class a minute or two late and tripped before he could get to his seat. Stiles caught himself on the back of Derek’s chair, and Derek turned to look up at him in concern.

Their faces were only an inch or so apart and their gazes locked. Erica could feel the hair on her arms raise because the energy between them was electric.

But Derek rumbled, “Are you okay?”

And Stiles replied with a hoarse, “Fine.”

He stood up straight. They continued to stare at each other for a moment before Stiles shook himself and stumbled over to his seat. And Erica knew, _she fucking knew_ , that class would be full of quick glances and blushes and pining and an unnecessary amount of arousal whenever either of them made a particularly well-thought out point. She couldn’t take it anymore.

“No!” she said in a loud sharp voice that caused everyone to look at her. “You two, get up, get your shit, and get out.”

Derek’s eyebrows crinkled in a hurt and confused expression. Stiles was immediately indignant. “What?!” he spluttered.

“I’m sick of the sexual tension,” Erica snapped bluntly. “Get out and don’t come back until you’ve fucked it out of your systems.”

Now they were both gaping at her in absolute shock. There was a loud moment of silence before Mason shouted, “Hear hear!” and started to clap. Everyone else joined in clapping and shouting agreements.

Derek and Stiles both grabbed their things and hurried out.

“Don’t forget safe sex is the best sex!” Danny called just before the door closed behind them.

-

Outside the classroom, Derek and Stiles stood and stared at each other, listening to the cheers of their classmates.

Derek looked away first, the tips of his ears bright red as he clutched his books to his chest. Stiles took a deep breath and decided to take the plunge.

“Uh. They weren’t wrong. I do want to sleep with you. Because, seriously dude, you are so gorgeous. But I also… You’re really smart. And you do deadpan like I’ve never seen. I’d like to date you, too. So. I don’t know where you stand, but that’s where I’m at,” Stiles said. He shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. Derek seemed to be frozen in shock, staring at Stiles with his impossibly colored eyes open wide. Then he smiled the shyest, most adorable smile Stiles had ever seen, just the slightest int of bunny teeth peeking out.

“Um. Coffee?” Derek asked softly.

“Yes, god, please. I slept straight through my alarm because I was up late trying to finish a paper,” Stiles said.

“For what class?” Derek asked, turning to head towards the nearest coffee shop.

Stiles chattered on while they walked. They bickered companionably until they finished their coffee. Derek shyly asked Stiles questions while they ate lunch. They swapped stories over dinner. The pair stopped by the store on their way to the apartment Derek had just off campus because Danny was right.

Safe sex was the best sex.

-

Erica thought it was maybe worth losing her temper. The sexual tension wasn’t completely gone and most of the time their arguments still ended up tripping into the realm of verbal foreplay, but at least it was because they were an actual couple, not because they were oblivious idiots too stupid to know how to deal with their feelings.

(Her good mood had nothing to do with the fact that she’d won the pool. None at all.)

**Author's Note:**

> To my awesome giftee. Here's a college fic for you! I hope you like it, and my apologies for taking forever to post it to ao3. Happy Holidays!


End file.
